Category Archives: Proverbs

Three T’s for Tuesday – 9/18/12 – Gossip

**What works for my family, may not be the right thing for your family but I have learned a lot through trial and error, mistake and prayer.  I am no expert on families, but I am an expert on mine.  My opinions and suggestions are simply that, opinions and suggestions.  Take from them what works for you and put aside the rest :)

Today’s Three T’s for Tueday:  Tackling Tough Topics is…

Sins of the tongue:  Gossip

What are your thought on gossip?

Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Gossip can have devastating effects on a persons life.  The beginning of gossip can seem very innocent, but after, it spreads like wildfire through a group of people, it changes, comes out fierce, out of control.  What began as a simple little spark can turn into a full blown inferno.

In a recent Bible study on the book Proverbs, one suggestion from Author, Wendy Blight, on the topic of gossip was, asking a set of questions before choosing to talk about something or someone:

Is it helpful?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?
Is it true?

If you can answer yes to all of those, then there’s probably no harm in discussing it but what if you answered no?

We need to carefully think about the things we are saying.  Our words are so powerful.  We can crush spirits and break hearts simply by the words we choose to speak.  At the same time, we have the power to encourage, support and love through those very same words.  It’s a choice we are given and not a choice that always comes easy.

For me, gossip has been a struggle.  It’s something I have to work very hard at to avoid.  In recent months, I have felt very strong convictions about the words I use, what I say and when I say them.  I have made plenty of mistakes with my words but thankfully am learning to hold my tongue, that I don’t always have to have something to say.

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  Proverbs 15:1

The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body. Proverbs 26:22

A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.  Proverbs 11:13

A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.  Proverbs 20:19

A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly.  Proverbs 12:23

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.  Proverbs 16:24

Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.  Proverbs 21:23

The Bible is very clear about how powerful our words are.  There are many verses that refer to taming our tongue, choosing our words carefully, avoiding gossip and using our words to build up, encourage, love and teach one another.

I don’t always get it right and sometimes I let gossip win.  My prayer is that you and I will overcome this battle with love in our hearts, knowing that we have the choice to either tear someone down or build them up.

Which will you choose?

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.  Colossians 4:6

© The Imperfect Princess at theimperfectprincess.com

Three T’s for Tuesday – 9/11/12 – Spanking

**What works for my family, may not be the right thing for your family but I have learned a lot through trial and error, mistake and prayer.  I am no expert on families, but I am an expert on mine.  My opinions and suggestions are simply that, opinions and suggestions.  Take from them what works for you and put aside the rest :)

The first topic in our new series, Three T’s for Tueday:  Tackling Tough Topics is…

To spank or not to spank?  Is it abuse?  Is it discipline?

What are your thought on spanking?

Let’s get one thing clear first and foremost.  Spanking is not the same as beating, bruising, blistering, or any other physical harm.  Anything more than a gentle, corrective swat, is not a spanking, it’s a abuse.

I had a great conversation, with a dear friend, on spanking just a the other day.  While our opinions on some things vary, it prompted me to give more thought on my own feelings and beliefs as well as dig into what God’s word says.

First off, I will say that in our home, we have and do occasionally spank.  Personally, I think there’s an age this works best, about 2 years to 5-6 years of age, but I certainly don’t consider spanking the only option for discipline.  In fact, it’s typically the least used in our home and has often been the least effective.

Each of our children respond differently to discipline.  For our oldest son, spankings were the least effective.  It took years to figure out I was simply doing things wrong with him.  Once I learned that taking things away meant something to him, his behavior improved leaps and bounds.  With our two younger children, spanking seems to work, though I often look for other alternatives.

The most common form of discipline we use for our boys who are 12 and almost 8, is writing sentences.  It started out as a simple “I will not lie” kind of thing but I felt it needed to be more and there were other lessons they could gain through sentences.  I also started using Bible verses.  I looked up verses that fit whatever they had done such as, “Do not lie to each other” Col. 3:9a.

During the conversation with my friend, as I was explaining having my kids write Bible verses, she commented that she didn’t want her kids to see the Bible as punishment.  I don’t look at it that way.  I look at it as an opportunity to show them that not only were their actions wrong as far as I am concerned, but that God’s word says it’s wrong as well.  It’s also a time for them to be in His word, to teach them that in times of trouble, we can and should lean on Him.

I’ve often heard these verses used to defend spanking:

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.  Proverbs 13:24

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.  Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.  Proverbs 23:13-14

The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.  Proverbs 29:15

The best explanation I have read against these defenses was, “The “rod” was not meant to hit children.  In fact, we find in scripture where it says, “Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4b.  The rod and staff were used by shepherds to guide sheep along their path.  It was not intended to exhort parents to hit their children.”

The most important thing with any discipline is following through with a discussion.  We discuss what actions they did, why it was wrong, how to make better choices and why I chose the punishment.  I reassure them that I am going to love them even through their mistakes and bad choices but that I am their parent and it is my job to teach them right and wrong.  I want them to know that I love them and don’t expect them to be perfect, but that I am here to help guide them and teach them in the hopes that they will learn to make better choices.

© The Imperfect Princess at theimperfectprincess.com

Security in Christ…

Sometimes our security is shaken.  
We are left feeling uneasy, vulnerable, scared, worried, violated.

Today I seek reassurance that says…

The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.  Psalm 9:9

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  Psalm 18:2
One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek:  that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.  For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.  Psalms 27:4-5

Yes, the LORD is my rock, my fortress.  Even when I feel insecure in my earthly home, He is my fortress.  In Him, I take refuge.  He shields me from the pain of worldly actions, violations.  

I have to remember, we are safe.

While my family and I celebrated our freedoms, others took advantage of their freedoms and broke into our home.  They stole things that we have worked hard for.  Things we’ve sacrificed for.  Things we dreamed of.  Things we’ve waited years to get.  They damaged our beautiful home that we bought just 8 short months ago.  

Most of all, they stole our sense of security.  While we did have an alarm and it did activate and the police did come, the crooks had long enough to take a few of our valuables and do some damage.  It was enough to cause us to lose that safe feeling.  It was enough to rattle our nerves.  

It was enough to shake us but they will not break us.

God has promised me…

The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD; he is their stronghold in time of trouble.  Psalm 37:39

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Psalm 46:1

When calamity comes, the wicked are brought down, but even in death the righteous have a refuge.  Proverbs 14:32

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.  Isaiah 54:10

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.  John 14:27

So today, as we continue to celebrate the freedoms we have in this country, I also mourn.  I mourn for the security that was stolen from my family.  I mourn for the loss of worldly things that we treasured but most of all…
I mourn for the lost souls who have such a crappy life they felt they needed to steal some of our joy.  I can only imagine how their lives are that they had to stoop to this level.  I pray that as they grabbed the laptop from my desk which was sitting right beside of my open Bible, they glanced at the pages.  I pray they saw some of the verses hanging on my walls in front of them.  I pray that when they dig through the life I had on my laptop, they see the images from this blog, the Bible studies I worked hard to prepare, the many moments I captured on camera, the joyous music of a glorious God, that they are overcome with heaviness, guilt and shame.  Perhaps my life can bring change to theirs.  I pray that God touches their hearts, that they find peace in their lives to live better ways, not destroying the lives of those around them.  

Even though the very human part of me will still feel anger, hurt and fear, the wisdom of my soul is at peace knowing that I am well.

© The Imperfect Princess at theimperfectprincess.com

It’s a Facelift!

So I have been MIA for a few weeks.  Sorry about that!

Ya know, life can get a little hectic with the kids out of school.  That means I have a 12 year old, a 7 year old and the normal 2 year old to entertain.  We’ve had loads of fun already but I’m wiped out!  Naps are a must each day, thus the blog kind of got put on the back burner.  I hope you can forgive me :)

On a different note, I felt it was time for a facelift.  What do ya think about the new look?  

You have to like it because I just spent … well, way too much time changing it.  It’s 3am and there’s no turning back now so you’re stuck with me and my new look!  I hope you’ll hang around!
Those who know me well know I change purses more often than I change my underwear (oops, did I just say that outloud?!).  Anyway, my point is, this won’t be the last facelift you’ll see here – in fact, embrace the change – I’ll probably get tired of this one before you have time to get use to it, LOL!

So, to catch you up on things other than wiping noses, changing diapers, refereeing arguments and dancing around like crazy clowns, I’ve been busy with other things too!  One in particular is the most awesome book of Proverbs.  Ever read it?  If not, you totally should!

A year ago, I honestly couldn’t have even told you what a Proverb was.  

“A simple and concrete saying popularly known and repeated, which expresses a truth, based on common sense or the practical experience of humanity.”

What does that mean, you ask?!

Well, Wendy Blight, the author of this awesome Proverbs study I am in, defines it as plain, easy ways of teaching and making a point.  They are generally short statements that relate practical truths to some aspect of everyday life.

Thanks, Wendy, for putting it into terms I can grasp ;)

So basically, a Proverb is a simple saying that is easier to remember.  Way back in the day, when Solomon was jotting all this down for his boys, they didn’t have fancy schmancy computers to type notes on and believe it or not, they didn’t have an iPhone equipped with Siri to take notes.  Nope, they just had their plain ol’ brains to remember stuff.  With that said, Solomon had to keep things kind of simple.

A good example:

Proverbs 3:3  Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.

Solomon kind of drew a picture for us to be able to remember his teaching here.  When we bind something, it’s stuck to us.  When you write on a tablet, it’s there, for you to look back on. Tuck love and faithfulness into your heart so that at just the right time, it’s there for you to share with others!


Did I mention it’s after 3am?  If none of this makes sense, I apologize!  I’m a little delirious at this point but I just couldn’t wait to show you guys the new look and get some stuff down about Proverbs.  There will be more coming soon.  I promise!

In the meantime, sweet dreams!  I’ll be back for some morning glory – probably in the afternoon, HA! 

Proverbs 6:22  When you walk, they will guide you;  when you sleep, they will watch over you;  when you awake, they will speak to you. 

© The Imperfect Princess at theimperfectprincess.com

The not so lovely truth about baggage…

I must admit, I’m a girl who loves bags!
Just ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you, I go through purses like babies go through diapers.  My husband would certainly agree that I have a slight huge obsession with bags.
The pic above is from my current stash of bags.  My collection has been purged many times over the years.  I have learned that I am very fond of a particular style and keep going back to that same style which is why I’ve hung on to most of these. 
On the left, there’s a blue & green flower print w/ Phil. 4:13 on it – that’s our church bag!  All the Bibles go in it as we head to church and I keep my current Bible study stuff in it.  It’s a nifty Thirty One utility tote ;)
Notice the bright yellow in the frontthat’s my hot new bag!  I snagged this beauty by Nine & Co. at JCPenney over the weekend.  Yes, I *had* to get the matching wallet because it’s also yellow and all this fabulous yellow will match the tiny huge order of more bags I have coming after a recent Thirty One party at our place.

– shameless plug:  be sure to visit my friend Kelly at the Thirty One links above to get your own awesome bags! –
{ Might I add, encouraging a bag party might not be the best idea for a girl who drools over bags (aka bag addict).  Perhaps an intervention might have been a better idea! *wink* }
So what’s my point in all this?
As much as I love bags, I don’t love baggage!
Baggage is defined as…
1. The trunks, bags, parcels, and suitcases in which one carries one’s belongings; luggage.
2. The movable equipment and supplies of an army.
3. Superfluous or burdensome practices, regulations, ideas, or traits.
Baggage is…
regret, disappointment, shame, guilt, anger, fear, anxiety, hate.
heavy.  it weighs us down.
tiring & exhausts us. it wears us out.
occupies too much of us, leaving too little for the important things.

Or as we know it, it’s all the crud we’ve stuffed away in our pockets (our hearts & minds), lugging it around with us every day, weighing us down, leading us to depression, wearing out our bodies, our minds, our spirit, attacking our hearts, our attitudes, and leaving us open to Satan’s attacks.

The baggage in my life has piled up about as quickly as my purse pile grows.  I’ve had to learn to let go of a lot of baggage – that is, give it to God!  He is capable of carrying all the things we drag around.  He can carry my baggage without worry, without anger, without resentment and all the while, He remains caring, loving and gentle.  I don’t have to worry about the strain I put on Him but the freedom it has given me is big huge! 

While I still struggle with my bag obsession, I am happily learning to let go of the baggage that weighs me down and keeps me from glorifying God.  
Hand your bags to God – He will gladly carry them!
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Psalm 34:18
Jesus replied, “What is impossible with men is possible with God.”  Luke 18:27
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.  Philippians 4:13
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.  Proverbs 3:5-6
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.  1 Peter 5:7
I am thankful for these gentle reminders that I don’t have to carry around a lot of baggage – God will carry it for me! 

© The Imperfect Princess at theimperfectprincess.com

Are you consumed?

Are you consumed?

With worry, fear, guilt, questions, doubt, anger?

How do we manage to get through each day when there is sadness, pain, heartache, disappointment, loss – all around us?  How do we go on living when we feel so overwhelmed by all the suffering we are facing or those around us face?

Recently, I see it more and more.  I don’t know if it comes with age or what but I notice now more than ever, all the suffering around us.  I have dear friends who’s lives have been turned upside down by disease.  Other friends have faced questionable times with their children facing surgeries and the unknown.  Friends who have lost loved ones – spouses, parents and even their own precious children.  Each day, I frequent a number of Caring Bridge sites where many families have already lost their children or are praying for just one more day.

And yet, here I am.  I must make it through the day.  I must go on living even though so many around me are stuck in a moment or are dying.  I still manage to find joy in my day – even with all the darkness and sadness that surrounds me.

How do I do it?

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”  Matthew 6:27

I didn’t always.  There was a point where it really got to me.  It brought me down.  I was living, but I was dead inside.  I went through the motions of each day but I wasn’t really living.  I missed out on so much and wasted so much time because I was consumed.

Consumed by a past that I couldn’t get away from…
Consumed by regret…
Consumed by doubt…
Consumed by shame & guilt…
Consumed by fear…
Consumed by worry…
Consumed by anger…

I had all these things standing in the way of the One thing I needed to be consumed by … God!

Today, I can make it through the day, even knowing my friends are suffering and facing uncertain times – I can do it because my faith is stronger now than it has ever been.  I can do it because I know God is on my side.  I can do it because I know He is walking with me, holding my hand and guiding me through each day.  I can do it because I know He loves me.  I can do it because as a Christian woman, I am blessed with the knowledge that today is not the end – that our life here on earth is not the end – that it is only the beginning!  I can do it because I know that tomorrow, He will hold me in His arms and welcome me into a place of beauty and grace, a place with no more suffering, a place of joy and happiness where my past cannot follow me, where I won’t feel ashamed and dirty, where all the unknowns of this world will finally be answered.

I can honestly say that without God as my forefront, I wasn’t living.  I was here in the flesh but my heart wasn’t in it.  I was ready to check out of this life.  Each day was a burden.  Every action seemed daunting.  Every choice seemed to have devastating results.  Life was dark and gloomy.  The biggest difference between then and now is that now, I am walking with God instead of against Him – so in my mind, He has to be almighty – there just isn’t any other explanation for the changes in my own life.

I am promised a tomorrow and so are you!  As Christians, we tend to get a lot of flack from around the world.  People think we’re crazy or that they don’t need that “junk”.  I use to think that same way.  I’m here now and living proof that God can and does work in our lives – but we have to choose to let Him.

Will you continue to be consumed with all the daily heartaches or will you choose to hand those over to God – who can handle anything – and become consumed by Him?

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  Matthew 6:34

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Philippians 4:6

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.  Proverbs 3:6

© The Imperfect Princess at theimperfectprincess.com