It’s that time again! It’s blog hop time with Proverbs 31 and Melissa Taylor’s Online Bible studies! Yay!
This study is Lysa TerKeurst’s book, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. We had four choices on topics this week. Here’s mine:
4. #yestoGod. Share a time you caught a “glimpse of eternity” as you said yes to what God was asking you to do.
Back in July 2011, I had just joined in with the P31 online Bible studies. The first study I followed was Wendy Blight’s book, Hidden Joy. Wendy is a very gifted writer and her book absolutely impacted my life in a huge way! Around that same time, I began feeling this overwhelming desire to pour myself into Scripture and anything that kept me in God’s word (keep in mind, this was very unusual as until then, I hated to read anything – even or maybe especially my Bible).
As I went through the study, I just felt like God was leading me to teach. I have to explain this for you to understand how ridiculous that idea was in my mind.
First of all, I has spent the past 10 years hiding out in the church nursery. It was a safe place where I could hide any real feelings or emotions from everyone else. I could spend all my time at church focusing on these kids and not myself. It was my escape from real life.
Also, I am not at all good with Scripture or memorizing, knowing much of anything about the Bible. At the time, I knew Jesus, knew of Moses, Jonah and a few other folks from the Bible but that was just about the extent of my knowledge. (How sad that is now!)
I wasn’t good with prayer (still working on this one) and had never, ever prayed out loud. In fact, until this past weekend, I could still say that. God was certainly working on me this weekend and had me WAY out of my comfort zone when I was finally able to pray out loud in front of a group of women. He’s still got a lot of work to do on me in that area, lol!
I had never, not once, attended a Bible study or class – NEVER! The only Bible study I had ever done, I was in the middle of and it was online! I had no clue how it worked to actually be in person, what teachers did or even what those who were there to learn did – nothing.
But still, I felt that’s exactly where God wanted me. I couldn’t understand any of it. Why would he want me to teach others? I don’t even know my own way but he wants me to lead someone else? “This is insane,” I thought.
These feelings were so strong, I knew I had to act on it and in a moment, I chose to say YES to God!
I emailed our education pastor at church, fully expecting him to laugh right out of his shoes and reply back with a big fat “No! I’m sorry, but who do you think you are even considering this silly notion?! Not no but NO!”
The thing is, that’s not the reply I got.
He said, “Yes!”
At that point, you can imagine I was
a little extremely shocked. I couldn’t quite understand first of all, why he would even consider the idea. Second, what was I doing? I had no clue where to go from there. I had no idea what I was doing and what was I thinking getting myself into this? It didn’t matter because this was it, I was doing it.
I said Yes to God!
I taught my first Bible study class, on the book Hidden Joy, in the fall of 2011.
That first class will always, always be such an important part of my story. The women who came gave me hope. They gave me confidence in a God I wasn’t sure I wanted to trust. They encouraged me, supported me and even thanked me. It seemed like they actually enjoyed it and God really worked in all of us. I couldn’t believe it!
Still filled with doubts, I continued to feel this strong desire to teach. I wish I could really make you understand just how crazy this thought was in my mind, but it would not let up.
The next semester, I asked our education pastor if I could continue teaching. Still filled with the same insecurities, this time I feared now that folks had taken my class, maybe someone didn’t like it, he’d have doubts about me and tell me no.
He said, “Yes!”
I went on to teach the winter 2011/12 semester, spring 2012 and fall 2012.
At this point, I started feeling like if I didn’t take a break I might get burned out. So, I for the winter 2012/13 semester, took a break and took my very first, real, in person Bible study class.
In the spring 2013, I was back to teaching. This summer, I took a break from our church to take a class with my sweet sisters at another church. My second in person Bible study class :)
Come September, it will be back to teaching for me. I’ve just gotten the okay from our education pastor to keep it up and with his support and encouragement, along with the support and encouragement from our lead pastor, I know I am doing exactly what God wants me to do.
I am this wounded, broken girl who doesn’t know Scripture very well, very much out of my comfort zone and who is not, in the least bit, confident about her ability to teach, but I am absolutely confident that God can use me,
even especially in my brokenness and that he can work through me.
Because of that, I say YES to GOD!